Now, what?

Since I am somewhat/marginally contiencious about my health, I go to the doctor for the obligatory annual check-up. This is the one that they euphemistically call the "mini-physical." No need, here, to go into what that is exactly, mainly because everybody knows or suspects they know about it. When you are all finished with the blood letting, and other odd/grotesque tests, you are cheerfully told that you will receive a letter in about a week with your results.

So I am going through my mail about a week later and here is my results letter. The first short paragraph is sort of a cheerleaders' congratulations for going through with the check-up. The second paragraph says that my cholestrol is astonishingly high. Within this paragraph, there is a concise list of delicious food items that I will need to forego for the rest of my life, such as various kinds of grease, including, but not limited to, milk, butter, ice-cream, cheese and other dairy products. Also, there is a stern warning/encouragement to transform any future days that I may have left to live into a sort of gauntlet of strenuous exercise.

Sadly, the letter goes on. The next paragraph suggests that my bone density test is iffy -- something to be "watched." It feels like some sort of veiled, yet cheerful threat. The suggested remedies for this possible, potential bone problem is to use more dairy products, such as milk and cheese. It is also recommended that I take a calcium pill with vitamen D. The letter ends cheerfully.

Now, my very first thought, as I read through the upbeat letter, was, did anybody proofread this letter?? Because, while there really aren't any typos or misspellings, there is a kind of fundamental contradiction. Did anyone catch it besides me? As in any good writing, there is conflict in this letter.

While the ominous second paragraph suggests that eating is really no longer an option for me, the third paragraph suggests to me to grab the car keys and hurry to Sonic for one of those nifty blasts -- any flavor is fine.

So, I am trying to work a plan/scheme whereas I walk 2 miles 4 days a week, yeah, right, and on those days, I don't go to Sonic. But on the days that I don't walk -- otherwise known as my favorite days -- I go on to Sonic, but I don't eat the ENTIRE blast -- just quite a lot of it. Importantly, I now feel fabulous. Of course, I also felt fabulous before I went to the doctor, so no change yet. For now, I will remain cheerful!